so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.