Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
