All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers