just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.