ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
