She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize