My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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