From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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