She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
