Even the bartender felt bad for me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
