i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
