i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
