i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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