after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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