if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We had to coat check the pizza.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
