I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
