So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
