Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
