I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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