I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
