Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
