ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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