dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
