i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
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He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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