My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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