i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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