Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
