I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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