Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.

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  (650): Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low. http://tfl.nu/on4s
  Replies (13) Good night (1111) Bad night (3167) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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  (859): I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn http://tfl.nu/q2bp
  Replies (70) Good night (3256) Bad night (5079) Order T-Shirt
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  (682): View more from Texas

  aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

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  (682): aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/8wvu
  Replies (29) Good night (6179) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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  (214): Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand. http://tfl.nu/s680
  Replies (13) Good night (1110) Bad night (4403)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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  (904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91
  Replies (23) Good night (1357) Bad night (4539) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

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  (254): You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wqqf
  Replies (3) Good night (2076) Bad night (750)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao

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  (631): Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao http://tfl.nu/axpp
  Replies (7) Good night (1322) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route

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  (519): Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route http://tfl.nu/dfjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3040) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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  (217): I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips http://tfl.nu/378x
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at

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  (506): At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at http://tfl.nu/k9hn
  Replies (5) Good night (1741) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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  (919): At what point would you like us to save you from yourself? http://tfl.nu/30aa
  Replies (3) Good night (1845) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

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  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (1785) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room

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  (505): I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room http://tfl.nu/d90t
  Replies (13) Good night (1242) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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  (337): Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment. http://tfl.nu/4czr
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I have a hunch Mama J got around.

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?

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  (660): I have a hunch Mama J got around. (660): Am I allowed to say that about my own mom? http://tfl.nu/20rk
  Replies (4) Good night (185) Bad night (406)

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