Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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