this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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