Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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