I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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