Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
