i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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