hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
