he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
