Im at strip club and am horny
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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