Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Shame - the story of my life.
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