Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
