I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
