I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize