Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
