Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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