You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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