Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
