I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
