You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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