They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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