I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I look better un-naked...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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