Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize