just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
