We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
