is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
