I cannot find my penis.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
