I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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