I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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