You really coming over, don't trick.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
