didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
